Vaction has ended

Bummer really, vaction seems to be over before it ever got started. I think I need another vaction. I cruised from New York to the Grand Bahamas. I was on a ship with a bunch of old people and Tweens, there was hardly no one there around my age to talk to. They had an all you can eat buffet and dinners that were open 24 hours a day. The shopping on the islands where slim pickings because they only sold rings, earrings, and necklaces. -_-;; boring. But the trip was good, I got to visit another country.

Hardest decision of my life

Today I had to make the hardest decision, I had to decide what to do about my 8 month old puppy. My puppy, Mika is getting a little out of hand recently and now she is starting to become a burden on those around me. Though it hurts, my overall decision is that I am going to give her to a shelter. I have had to do this once before in my life and it has not gotten any easier. Mika is dog and people aggressive and she attacks everything, not to mention she is having the hardest time controlling her bladder. Though I keep hearing "It's for the best..." and "your doing the right thing" it doesn't stop the pain I feel. It seems that those around me couldn't possibly feel what I am going through because they are not alone. Mika is my sole companion and I look to her to bring me out of any slumps that I might encounter; now it seems that I must rely on the people around me...for me that is never good. Whenever I look for understanding and compassion in those around me I am horribly let down, but who knows maybe things will change and get better......yeah, and maybe pigs will sprout wings and fly. I feel so miserable that I can't even imagine going on, I mean what's the point? looking towards a future that looks like it will ultimately suck eggs? It all seems so pointless. I'm losing my best friend and I'm supposed to look towards a better future? Unless the economy gets fixed and in better shape then it was left in, I don't think that my generation or any future generations have a "better future" to look forward to. I think about those who are more fortunate and I can not help but feel envious of the fact that all of their bumps in the round are all gone and I'm just starting mine. I don't even know why I go on trying sometimes when the future looks hopeless. I feel as though my future looks really gray and morose; I mean, the economy is ultimately trashed, so jobs are scarce; I live in a capitalist country, so going to college is harder than it has ever been before; so what are we working to achieve? You know the little tid bit of advice someone gives when they say "things will turn out all right in the end"? when your upset I think that is the last thing that you want to hear. when someone says that to me I just want to hurt things really badly. It is always easier to give that type of advice when you aren't actually living the experience. what would I look like giving someone advice on trying to out maneuver the Nazis? I wasn't even a thought back then, but try telling one of the people during that era that "it will turn out all right in the end". I thank my mum and little sister for trying to help me through this time but nothing... no amount of words, pep talks, reassurance that it is the best thing to do could ever erase the pain that I feel. I feel as though nothing in my world is going as it should, and then there are times that I want to stop trying and just waist away. I think the one question that is racing through my head is not "why are we here?" but "why am I even trying?"

New to this

Hey I'm Jadae and I am new to this whole blogging thing; I'm not really the blogger type but as it is I am taking advice from a reliable source, and they said blogging was beneficial. A little about myself...I am 19 and I am a student working to become a video game designer. I was originally planning to head to Florida to attend the International Academy of Technology and Design, but those plans fell through. The school was one, too expensive. Two I was no where near Florida and three I don't know anyone in Florida. I have a puppy named Mika, she is a Lab/Chow mix and she is 8 months old now and doing well. My favorite thing in the world is The Nightmare Before Christmas, later I will introduce you to my collection of TNBC things.